Fear of Rejection

So.....  I have fear/excitement bubbling inside me this morning.  As you know if you have previously read any of my blog I have written a book.  I am meant to be finding out this week, if an agent likes my book.  I don't know why I am resting everything on this one agent.  As I could just send out lots of manuscripts and apply for more.  Yet for some reason, I really want this agent.  (It may well just be laziness).  I am meant to be finding out this week, whether it is a yes or no and I am terrified!

I know the answer will probably be no but I would just be so happy if it was a yes!  I had a dream last night again (sorry i am always boring everyone with my dreams).  In my dream, I got an email from the agent and she said she would love to work with me...blah, blah and I put my arms in the air and went "Yesssss", like a child and then I rang up pretty much everyone I know and everyone shouted, "Yessssss."  Then I woke up and realised it had never happened.  So now, I am sitting here terrified that I used all my good luck in that dream and in fact now it is going to be a "Noooooooo" (poke lip out and look sad). 

I am worried.