So my newly single status, did not last very long. We were back together within a few days but of course he was angry with me. In my insecure and anxious scramble for stability, after being chucked, I reached out for two men who I once knew (not in the Thomas Hardy sense). He went through my messages and saw. He is filled with fury.
There is little I can do. What is done is done and I can't change that. He does not see this way. All I really want is to be happy together. He does not see that either. He thinks (or says he thinks) I want to destroy him. Little does he know. It's hard. Ridiculous really, the pain that two people put each other through. Day in, day out, month after month, fighting. We don't need to do it.
"At least, there's passion," someone said. They are right. There is passion. So much passion. It seeps out even when there is nothing to be passioante about. A snow ball, building momentum as it tosses and turns down the mountain, only to land and collapse.
Lets just hope tonight he will love me.
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